


The Holiness of the Heart's Affections

by SweetSorcery



Series: Life Lessons from Keats [1]
Category: Famous Five - Enid Blyton
Genre: 1960s, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Brother/Brother Incest, Cambridge, Clothed Sex, Embarrassment, England (Country), Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, Feels, First Kiss, Future Fic, Hand Jobs, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Incest, Inspired by Poetry, Jealousy, Kinktober, Kinktober 2018, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Male Slash, Mutual Masturbation, Neck Kissing, Pining, Poetry, Post-Canon, Praise Kink, Romance, Sibling Incest, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 18:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16247012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetSorcery/pseuds/SweetSorcery
Summary: Julian is rather proud of his younger brother, and likes to tell him so. Dick loves it when Julian praises him... until the day it becomes something of a problem.





	The Holiness of the Heart's Affections

**Author's Note:**

> Written for **Kinktober 2018**.
> 
> Day 7 Prompts used: **Praise-kink** | **Incest**  
>  (There will be a sequel using Day 12 prompts.)
> 
> This story is set later than the books, in the mid-1960s, and imagines Julian and Dick attending Cambridge University. It is **not** part of the same Universe as my somewhat more epic, recently uploaded Julian/Dick story [As Wind to Fire](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16127849), but they're the same ages: 18 and 19, respectively.

  


Dick was making for the library, by way of Chetwynd Court, when he walked into a fellow student. Or rather, one of his older brother's fellow students. He just managed to catch a book in midair as it slid out from the pile in his arms.

"Oh, hello, Eddie." 

"Dick! Sorry, I was daydreaming." Edward Higgins looked embarrassed, and a little worried.

"It's fine, Eddie. Everyone's allowed to daydream." Dick laughed, wondering what Higgins looked so concerned about.

He followed Higgins' line of vision and saw Julian sitting on one of the low walls about 20 yards away, looking casual in dark trousers and a caramel coloured jumper matching his hair. He was reading, long legs stretched out on the wall in front of him. A single strand of blond hair fell over one eye as he turned a page. 

"Hey, Ju!" Dick called out.

Julian looked up, smiled and waved.

And Edward Higgins flushed to the roots of his hair; it was rather obvious, because he was extremely pale.

Dick frowned. "What's up, Eddie?"

"Nothing. I... I was just... I need to go, got an essay to finish. Um... say hello to Julian for me?"

"He's right over there, why don't you--"

"No, it's fine, really. Never mind." Higgins hurried off in the opposite direction, leaving a baffled Dick behind.

He wandered over to his brother. "That was odd."

Julian shifted his legs to the side, leaned forward, and patted the stone wall. "Sit. What's odd, Dick?"

Dick settled alongside him, but facing Julian, and put his own feet up. "Higgins. He just stood over there - staring at you, as far as I could tell, and I walked right into him. He got horribly embarrassed and ran off." He laughed.

"Staring at me?" Julian's brows rose.

"I think so." Dick shrugged. "Oh, and he said to say hello to you, but then he changed his mind."

Julian laughed. "You're right, he is an odd one. He keeps offering to study with me and, because he's better at Greek than I am, I took him up on it once. He kept staring at me the whole time then too, and asking silly questions about the subject, and I'm sure he knows the answers better than I do." Julian shook his head, looking perplexed.

Dick chewed his lower lip thoughtfully. "Sounds like he just wants to spend time with you."

"I'd rather he didn't." Julian looked across his book at Dick. "I prefer spending any free time I get with you. My study time too, to be honest. Even with subjects you don't study, you're more help than he is."

Dick blushed. "Don't be silly, Julian. I'm a year behind you, and we're not even doing the same courses."

"I'm not being silly, Dick. You're bright. You also have a gift for telling me things, or asking me questions, that make me look at things differently; you always have, even when we were growing up. And then suddenly, I'm on the right track." Julian reached out and patted Dick's knee in a friendly sort of way. His eyes were very soft when he said, "I'm glad we both got into King's."

Dick stared at his brother, who was smiling and looking utterly sincere, and he felt his blush deepen. And worse, he felt warm all over, which he knew made the freckles across his cheeks brighten. This was embarrassing. Why was he reacting that way?

"Thanks, Ju, I'm glad too," he stammered, quickly opening a book at random and staring hard at it.

He wasn't aware Julian had continued looking at him, with a raised brow, until he heard him say, "Dick, you're reading that book upside down."

* * *

It was unbearable. Dick soon had to start avoiding Julian. Which was rather difficult, considering they shared a room. It was a nice room, too, one of the older ones - with a mullioned window and an uneven floor, but Dick stayed away from it as often as he could.

Which was why he was now lurking in the library, trying to make sense of his state of mind. He'd always loved being praised by his older brother. He'd loved it a lot, admittedly. It was because he'd always wanted Julian to be proud of him. He thought that was quite normal. Now, all of a sudden, it felt awkward. Somehow, Edward Higgins was to blame, though Dick couldn't work out how. In fact, speaking of Higgins - Dick had started noticing him hanging around Julian a lot, when he had no reason to, and it annoyed him rather dreadfully. He assumed because he knew it would annoy Julian, if he noticed.

"Dick, why can I never find you these days?"

Dick stiffened at the sound of Julian's voice, and the arm casually slung over his shoulder. "Just busy, Ju, with studies," he said lamely, glancing at Julian sidelong. 

"I know, so am I, but why study at the library when we have a perfectly good room? Studying is a lot more fun with you around." Julian smiled his sunniest smile. "Anne sent some of her homemade almond crescents, too. They arrived this morning."

Dick squeezed his eyes closed for a moment. He took a deep breath and made an effort to relax his shoulder under Julian's arm. "Sure, Ju. I just need to find a couple more books and get them issued. I'll be there in a few minutes, all right?"

Julian grinned, ruffled Dick's dark brown hair, and veered off.

* * *

Once they had discussed Greek history for an hour - during which Julian had informed Dick of more than he thought he'd ever need to know about Ancient Greece - they moved on to Keats. Dick was preparing notes for an essay on Keats' Selected Letters.

He'd made himself comfortable on the floor in front of the single small sofa, because the coffee table was at a convenient height. Julian sat in the armchair opposite. At some point though, Julian had come over to the sofa and settled down behind him, peering over his shoulder once in a while. It was rather unsettling.

"I like this excerpt," Julian said. He reached for the book across Dick's shoulder and started to read it in his calm, deep voice, his breath warm on the back of Dick's head: "I am certain of nothing but of the holiness of the heart's affections and the truth of imagination. What the imagination seizes as beauty must be truth, whether it existed before or not, for I have the same idea of all our passions as of love. They are all in their sublime--"

Dick made a distressed little sound. 

"Are you all right?" Julian asked, with concern.

"Sure I am." Dick was blushing. He had desperately reached for yet another biscuit with shaking fingers and stuffed it into his mouth, wondering when Anne's biscuits had started tasting like cardboard; their sister was such a fussy baker. He quickly followed it up with a large gulp of tea.

Julian placed the book on the coffee table and tilted his head to look at his brother's profile. "What's the matter, Dick?"

"The matter? Nothing. Why do you think something's the matter?"

"Because you were refusing to look at the illustrations in my book on Greek art, you're blushing about Keats, and you've just eaten at least a dozen biscuits. And you didn't look as if you enjoyed any of them."

Dick groaned inwardly. 

"And because I know you," Julian concluded. He sighed. "I've hardly seen you lately."

Dick glanced back and up at Julian, trying for a cheeky grin. "Ju, we're sharing a room. You see me every single day. In fact, you're probably sick of seeing me all the time." That gave him an idea, and he quickly added, "I thought I ought to stay out of your hair once in a while. I mean, you probably don't want your little brother tagging along with you all the time."

Now Julian looked hurt, and Dick felt terrible. "I do, actually. I always feel better when you're near me, Dick. Why would you think I'd want you to be elsewhere?"

"Oh, I don't know." Now Dick was torn between feeling guilty and, once again, flustered, because Julian felt better when he was close to him.

Julian slid from the sofa down to the floor next to Dick and curled his arm around his shoulder. Again. This time, he was also sitting hard up against Dick, smelling of tea and pine soap and feeling warm and really nice to lean against, and Dick realised something even more distressing than his problem with Julian's praises. Infinitely more distressing. He quickly drew his knees up and chewed on his bottom lip, hoping the pain would distract him. Good grief, what was wrong with him?

And then Julian gently nudged the side of his head with his own and murmured, "You're being silly, Dick."

If Dick could have, he would have stood up and run off right then. But not only could he go nowhere in the state he was in just then, but he couldn't let Julian notice. He wondered why even the fact that he was mortified wasn't helping in the least.

It wasn't as if he didn't know he had a problem. Chaps weren't supposed to prefer boys to girls, it was even against the law, heaven knew why. That was troublesome enough, and he hoped he'd get over it by the time he left university and went out into the world. _Experimenting_ was kind of tolerated at Cambridge, he'd discovered, but he hadn't wanted to. There was no one in particular he wanted to experiment with, except, apparently... Julian. Which was completely out of the question. Because Julian could never be a mere experiment, and he was his brother, and he wasn't... that way. Dick didn't actually remember him ever expressing any interest in a girl, but that was beside the point. Julian was simply more interested in his studies at that stage. As Dick should be.

"I've been talking to myself for the last five minutes, haven't I?" Julian sighed, clearly frustrated.

Dick folded his arms on his knees and dropped his forehead onto them with a sigh.

"Dick." Now Julian didn't sound frustrated. He sounded worried.

Dick felt Julian's hand on the nape of his neck, squeezing it gently while his thumb stroked the small indent at the base of Dick's skull. It made him tremble all over. "Don't, Ju."

"You know you can tell me anything, Dick."

Julian's voice was soft and coaxing. It was tempting to take him up on it, for a moment. Dick moved his head slowly from side to side, not quite shaking it. Julian's hand on his nape might be a torment, but he didn't want it gone either.

"Yes, you can."

"No, Ju. Not this time." Dick sighed again.

Julian drew him even closer, turning him a little more towards him at the same time, completely ignoring that Dick was trying to pretend to be a turtle hiding in its shell.

It wasn't fair, Dick thought, that on top of being really rather horribly handsome, Julian had to be taller and stronger than he was, too.

And those were not thoughts which helped alleviate his present problem either.

"Dick, you can't be afraid to tell me. You've never been afraid of anything. You're the bravest, most-"

"Ju!" Dick was panting. "Please, could you... Could you stop praising me, please." The words were out and sounding very stupid, Dick thought. At least Julian wouldn't be praising him for his wit or cleverness now.

"Don't you like it?"

Dick didn't raise his head, but he turned it just far enough on one side to look up into Julian's dark eyes in disbelief. Julian's face was much too close. "Don't I-- Julian, I don't even know what to say to that."

"The truth would be good," Julian simply said, as if it really _was_ that simple.

"Would it? Are you so sure the truth is always best?"

Julian nodded. "Yes, Dick. That's one thing I'm very sure of." He gazed into Dick's eyes softly. "If it's annoying, or embarrassing, to you when I praise you, you have to tell me. I'll have to try and stop doing it somehow."

He made it sound like an impossibly hard task, which melted Dick's heart. "It's not... annoying. It _is_ embarrassing, but not... not in the way you think."

Julian kept on holding his gaze, and Dick couldn't haven broken the contact, even if he'd wanted to. He was basically being held in Julian's arms, and those deep hazel eyes were looking at him so... tenderly.

"You do like it," Julian mused very quietly.

Dick nodded almost imperceptibly.

"Too much?" It was a question, but it didn't really sound like one. It was more as if Julian was searching for the answer himself, in the way Dick was trembling against him, the way he looked at him... and had tried to avoid looking at him lately, the fact that his breaths were tripping and stumbling over each other, as if he was struggling to make them sound calmer and more regular.

"Say something, Ju." Dick didn't know how much longer he could stand the tension. He didn't know what to make of Julian's narrowed eyes or the way he chewed his lower lip.

"Remember me telling you that I love how you always make me look at things differently?" Julian asked softly.

"Yes, but you're still praising me, Ju," Dick said, sounding pained. "You need to stop."

"Never mind that." Julian quirked a little smile that did terrible things to Dick's heartbeat. "I hope you also remember me telling you that you always put me on the right track in the end."

Dick's eyes widened, and he raised his chin off his folded forearms. His mouth was a couple of inches from Julian's. He couldn't help hold his breath. And then the distance shrunk to nothing, and Julian tilted his head and kissed him.

Dick didn't know what he'd expected a kiss to be like, but he'd never expected this. He felt like one of those chocolates with a liquid centre, barely holding his shape on the outside while his insides were melted and gooey. Julian's lips were so soft, but firm too, tasting faintly of almonds, and though Dick wasn't sure either of them knew what they were doing, everything somehow felt just right. He responded enthusiastically to every shift of Julian's lips, every little lick of his tongue inside his mouth, and every soft moan and sigh. He was barely even aware he had unfolded his arms and had slipped them around Julian's waist, until Julian's arms around him tightened further, and he was halfway across his lap, with Julian cradling him.

Dick could only hold on as he was dipped back, supported by Julian's raised knee behind him. He unconsciously settled in more tightly, and then felt he wasn't the only one with a problem anymore. "Ju," he whimpered against Julian's mouth.

"Heavens, Dick." Julian was breathing hard, pressing their foreheads together. He had a hand on Dick's right thigh, stroking up and down over the smooth grey tweed of his trousers in a way that was probably meant to be soothing, but had quite the opposite effect. On both of them.

Dick put his hand down on top of Julian's, stilling its movement for a moment, but not doing anything to stop Julian when he moved it again, lightly stroking up over the zip of his trousers. He just held his breath, letting his hand fall away again, and Julian's hand continued upwards to the button. He undid it, before sliding down the zip slowly and carefully. The sensation was excruciating against the hard arc of his arousal, and when his trousers were undone, and the exploring hand made its way inside to find and cup him through cotton boxers, he finally released his held breath.

"Wait, Ju," he croaked, even while his hand covered Julian's again to press it down harder.

"Don't make me stop, Dick, please don't." Julian's voice was husky. He nuzzled against the side of his face, breath warm in Dick's ear.

Dick shivered. "No, Ju, don't stop, I just want to..." Dick shifted a little on Julian's lap, pushing into the hand cupping him for a long, wonderful moment, then shifting a bit further until he could reach the fastenings on Julian's trousers too.

Julian helped enthusiastically, once he knew what Dick was trying to do. After some awkward fumbling, interspersed with heavy breathing, Dick's hand was on him too, hesitantly, also not daring to slide inside his underwear. It didn't matter, it was perfect. He nudged his hips up, just a little, pushing into the tentative grip, and felt Dick squeeze him carefully. He groaned, his mouth moving down the side of Dick's neck, where he bit down lightly.

Dick moaned, his head falling back, his hand on him momentarily faltering.

"I had no idea," Julian whispered against the warm skin, breathing in his brother's familiar scent. He held his hand still for a moment, then dared to burrow a little further, until he felt the hot, hard shaft in his palm. "Is that all right?" His touch was firm, but tender.

Dick gasped, "Yes," and did the same to him.

Julian rewarded him with another deep, hungry kiss, tongue stroking Dick's with his usual quick expertise at things, and Dick knew he wouldn't last much longer.

"Ju, I-"

"Yes, Dick, go on." Julian stroked him harder, faster, and right through a cry into his open mouth and little jolts of Dick's hips and uncoordinated slides of his hand on him. He was touched by Dick's determination not to pause, even while he was coming. The warmth of Dick's release, flowing through his fingers and coating his palm, made him follow moments later, and he came into Dick's grasp with a shudder and a soft sigh of his name, his head sinking forward into the crook of Dick's neck.

"If I tell you how astounding you are, will we start all over?" Julian asked after a couple of minutes of them just holding each other.

The lighthearted words made something loosen in Dick's chest that he hadn't known had tightened. He smiled into the dark blond hair at Julian's temple. "We might have to," he admitted. "Your praises have quite an effect on me."

Julian tipped his head up to look into Dick's eyes. "Knowing that has quite an effect on me." He smiled.

"I've noticed."

Julian laughed softly.

"I think we might have quite a problem."

Julian shook his head and reached up to cup the side of Dick's face with the hand that was not sticky. "Like Keats, I am certain of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections," he said.

Dick's eyes searched the dark, always so unfailingly honest, eyes, and he knew that Julian meant it. And he agreed.

One could do worse than follow the lessons of the Romantics.

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](https://sweetsorcery.tumblr.com/), and we can squee about this and maybe other pairings/fandoms we love. And drop me a message there. I'd love to follow you back. :)
> 
>  
> 
> These fictional characters (and some of their memories) are copyright Enid Blyton. This is a work of fiction set in an imagined future for those characters, and was written entirely for entertainment.  
> Please do not archive this story elsewhere, including in translated form.


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